The Virtual Wire

What's your main message?

In a recent conversation with my friend (and fellow teacher) Cynthia, she told me she had come to realize that she was a "bridge builder". Where she could, she tried to forge bridges and connections between people (who should be connected). I liked that. I'm an ardent--some might say intensely passionate--proponent of communication and personal connections. I thought about what she said, and then was able to tell her what one of my main messages was.

I am a barrier breaker.

I try to diminish or 'destroy' barriers that are in the way of effective connections or communications. A similar take on Cynthia's message? Yes, I think so. In describing this part of my personality, I'd say that when barriers become clear to me--barriers that have or will cause distance between two or more people--I seek to dismantle or disarm them. It's frank; granted. It's sometimes intense. But the only way to do it is to acknowledge there is a barrier, and then directly confront it. One can do so compassionately, and I'd like to think I'm in that category.

So what are your main messages? What major benefits, canny or uncanny, do you freely bring to the world and the people in your world? Let us know ... that would be nice.

If I see the red flags, why do I pick them up?

At a recent group coaching session with Stacy Brice one of my team members was talking about the interview process and what she needed to develop in her process to make it stronger.  One of the subjects that Stacy was really trying to bring home to us is that if we are clear about the answers we expect from certain questions, then “we can stand for the client and stand for ourselves” by bowing out when it is clear that there is not a match.  My VA colleague struggled with some of this because, just like me, she tends to give the person the benefit of the doubt.  When I heard my colleague saying, “well if they give this answer, maybe it is not as bad as it seems” it hit home to me that I do exactly the same thing.  And that thing is maybe not listening properly, not trusting my intuition, or maybe even ignoring the answer completely and slotting in my own answer.  It sounds crazy when you read it right?  But I know many VAs, and other small business owners who do this/have done this.  It is what we call seeing “red flags”, yet some of us choose to ignore them.

The client says something like “I work 24/7, never take a break and expect my support person to have the same dedication to their business,” and the interviewing VA will say “oh he just wants someone who is dedicated, and I work until 7pm most nights and that will be fine.”  Only to then enter into the relationship and find that the client has absolutely no boundaries around time, and 7pm at night is just not good enough from the client’s perspective.

I started to think about the red flags that I had seen in the past and chose to ignore.

Selling ... do you hate it?

The opening lines of this article written by Tim Berry caught my attention:

"You know who you are. You hate selling, but here you are, making your way as entrepreneur, having to sell or sink. 

Oh yeah, I'm part of that crowd!  The "I hate selling" mantra has been heard from my lips many times. In fact, that was the biggest hurdle for me as I prepared to go out on my own and launch a micro-business. I did not want to "lose" my real self, which is what I had witnessed from some. 

Tim titled his article, "5 Points on Selling without Selling Your Soul."  I appreciate each point!  It is a list of fundamental principles for effectively developing a solid business. 

Each, too, is characteristic of good, strong interpersonal skills.  Skills we have likely (hopefully) honed as professionals - active listening, empathizing, truth telling, problem solving, and persistence.

You may find that you're implementing each of these points already.  This read will serve as a great validation, then, of your savvy selling skills!  I found it refreshingly relevant. 

Does that compute?

One sunny, Saturday afternoon--when I should have been out enjoying the weather, but wasn't--E showed me a very dated article from Canadian Living. The title, "Make sure you compute", said it all ... well, it did at the time. I think I can update things a bit, as the article was dated October, 1991!

"Computer skills are now a workplace necessity." Imagine that. The heady 1980's, ushering in the era of personal computers, had just passed. In the early 1990's workplaces were in the throes of furnishing themselves with computers, or upgrading what they had, and investing in the latest and greatest software. The single most in-demand software program was (drum roll please): WordPerfect. In the early 1990's I was making a living from WordPerfect, having mastered many of its intricacies. Microsoft Word was running a close second--and oh, how a lot of marketing would soon change that--as was Excel to the then very popular Lotus 1-2-3. Around that time, I was doing nation-wide seminars on the two programs just mentioned.

Today, in my virtual assistance practice, I rely very heavily indeed on technology. I sometimes take or make telephone calls with a Bluetooth enabled headset. I use collaborative software to help manage my, my client's, and sometimes aspects of my community's files and projects; on that note, I've already said in the past that I love Groove. By the time you read this I will have learned about yet another new collaborative tool: Central Desktop (thanks Kathy). Periodically, I use tools like FileZilla (an excellent, and free, FTP client) or LogMeIn to access my PC remotely.

So I know I "compute", and that ties back into the Canadian Living article.

The question the article ended up on concerned the life cycle of one's computer skills. Though I'd argue the connection they made with WordPerfect when they said "Good programs don't die..." (not that it isn't a good program, but it has petered away to much of the world), I agree with their advice about training. If you don't specialize in one piece of software, or one suite, it's always wise to keep abreast of "future trends". On that note, yes, I'm looking ahead to the new version of Windows and of Office; both of which will be publicly available by this time next year.

It is scary, but you just need to let go sometimes

Self-Made Chick wrote a really cool article recently about what she calls the Monkey Bar Theory.  Here is her description of what it is

“What the Hell is the Monkey Bar Theory? The Monkey Bar theory is something I’ve noticed after living a dual life of fear and risk-taking. In order to make big changes in life, you’ve got to let go of one monkey bar to harness the strength, fear, and resolve to jump to the next.”

I likened this to one of the main issues that I hear VAs talking about all the time – letting go of their monkey bar = a controlling or stressful client – to jump to the next = attracting ideal clients.  Honestly I know it is not just a VA problem, but the plague of many small business owners. 

How do you “harness the strength, fear and resolve to jump to the next”? Sometimes I have easily, even though I have been somewhat scared, let go, but other times, especially when the client is a high retainer client I have been completely paralysed to take the next step and end the relationship.  This is when I have turned for help to be coached through the process.  On one occasion I admit to being literally stepped through ending a relationship by my outstanding coach, as I was so scared to do it on my own. 

And the thing is, when I have done it once, when I have taken that risk the first time, then the next time it really gets easier.  But I agree with the Self-Made Chick’s premise that “It Get’s Easier, But Is Never EASY.”  If you are waiting for the time when it is never scary to let go, then you may end up waiting for ever!  Come on share with me. When you have to let go, how do you get through it and/or how does it feel to you?

Another quote to remember

I love the message found in these words:   

The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ---- it is the light that guides your way.

-- Heraclitus

I trust you appreciate the sentiment expressed here, and I hope it brings some encouragement your way today.

A set of goodbyes

It’s with our very best wishes that Tiffany and Sydni move on, leaving the TVW blogging team. Please join us in our heartfelt hope that their practices and their individual journeys continue to bring them joy and prosperity.

We’ll be looking for more bloggers to add to our team shortly, and look forward to introducing them to you as soon as they’re on board!

Thank you for your continued support of TVW. We know you have a choice of what to read, and we’re pleased as punch that you read us!

The education piece

A huge part of my life, since the late 1980's, has been my other career hat: that of the trainer, presenter, and teacher. My interest in being on that end of education came about because I had a very keen interest in computers, and I had some university exposure to communications studies (public relations, public speaking, interpersonal skills, etc.). The two seemed to form the perfect blend in the late eighties. My first break was with the head office of a national drug store chain, and my first crack at teaching in a classroom environment came about with Seneca College, when I joined their continuing education faculty.

The richness in the classroom, and while spending time (and learning) with my teaching colleagues, does have its parallels; in fact, one of them is the richness I experience with fellow virtual assistants. The best place to do either is in person. Two weeks ago, I did both! I had an interesting conversation with Cynthia (a fellow teacher and friend), and many great conversations--and connections--with virtual assistants, while presenting at and attending FoVA 2009. FoVA itself, by the way, provided me with the opportunity of education and virtual assistance. Nice.

The education piece I'm speaking about can simply be called sharing. When both teachers and students are in abundance, have abundance to share, and have desire, the mix is extraordinarily rich.

Having been a trainer, presenter, and teacher for so long has brought one immensely important fact home: some teachers don't know what they are--but should--and many students, myself included, should take advantage of the teachers who are already there for them.

Stepping Into my client’s shoes

I had great fun last month as I stepped into my client’s shoes.  One of my clients decided to take an impromptu holiday.  She felt burnt out and need some serious TLC, and she turned to me and asked me for my help.  Of course I can hold the forte for her whilst she was away.  It was an eye-opener because it really allowed me to experience what my client does on a daily basis. 

Talk about “hit the ground running,” I had to keep up-to-date with her calls, her team members, dealing with all product issues, updating communication and forging forward with company growth.  It gave me a stark, but realistic insight into her world.  If it was possible I wish I could do this for all of my clients.  I have been working with this client for over 5 years, and even though I know her and her business in-depth, there is nothing that could rival this experience for truly getting me to understand who she is, and what she does. 

The funniest thing is that even though there were some people who would only feel comfortable in dealing with my client, and therefore arranged to connect with her upon her return, there were so many others who just saw me as her replacement and wanted to work with me as they do with her.  This really allowed me to get to grips with the nuances of her business.

And then there was the added and unexpected bonus to this experience.  Upon my client’s return we were able to sit down and map out a growth plan for the next 6 months, based on her renewed energy, and creative downtime whilst away, AND my new insight on her business.  What a win, win!!

From my client’s perspective this was soooo successful that she has already planned her next break in October, and I will be taking the reigns again.

Pretty cool, huh!!

Now I know some of you want to try this, or have done this for your client’s before.  Share some comment love, and let me know what you think of “stepping into your client’s shoes.”

In the news ...

NFIB Statement: Health Reform Must Help, Not Harm, Small Business

Fixed for America's Web site contains comprehensive information, current updates, personal stories, and so much more.  It's worth checking out and taking a closer look at this critical topic. I'm committed to exploring the issues affecting each of us as small business owners.  I know I'm not alone.