Someone has something important to say: are you listening? Have you made room, or made the time, or committed to listening? If you are listening, are you doing so with an open heart and open mind?
According to most sources, e-mail has become the most widely used form of communication today. Some of us endorse it, some loathe it, some employ it almost to the exclusion of all other forms of communication, some hide behind it; but we all use it. Is your e-mail ‘voice’ authentic? Are your recipients listening to you? Are you able to take the time to read the messages that are important?
Fact: in 2006, approximately 2 million e-mail messages were being sent every second! Here’s another fact, though more regionalized than the last: one of the college’s I teach for handles approximately 300,000 e-mail messages a day. Of those, up to two-thirds are spam. No wonder it’s so hard to commit to reading/listening. I don’t know about you, but I spend anywhere from a few minutes to over an hour each day tagging and junking the spam that the filters do not catch.
So taking a few netiquette cues from the art of conversation, I’ll apply them to e-mail to see if I can come up with a point-form set of rules for active ‘listening’/reading. For an interesting read on this, point your browser to this web page. Here’s my shortlist:
- Make a conscious effort to really read the e-mail. I know we all tend to skim at first or fly right by those e-mails that can wait. So when you do actually get around to reading it … really read it.
- Be an active reader. If the radio or your streaming audio is distracting, turn it off for a few seconds. If you’re multi-tasking, then single-task for a moment! You’ll want the same favour from someone you send a message to.
- Be a deliberate reader.
- Think about what you read. So this is the other bookend; right? You decided to read what someone wrote, you read it, and now you’re thinking about it.
- Begin a reply (if needed) while the messages are fresh. Open up Notepad, or start to draft a reply right away. While her message is right there, with you, pop in some ideas or a draft response. Save it for later if necessary.
I know, I know. This is all the stuff of which common courtesy is made. Or it should be. I’m a good one to re-read this myself: I have several e-mail accounts, each of which I check almost religiously every day. But I’d like to think it’s true that when I actually read someone’s important message, I ‘get it’. In conversation, echoing back to someone is always a good way to find out if you got it. This can be done in e-mail as well. Here’s a recent, very brief case history.
It’s Monday morning. I’m checking my main business e-mail account for Delphian. I go through the usual process of weeding out the obvious junk and spam. I skim the subject lines. I see that one of my colleagues in a networking association has just taken the big leap, and launched her virtual assistance practice and website. Huge news … wouldn’t you agree? I return to her e-mail message and read it. I spend the time to take it in. How exciting, I think. I begin a response to her (at least to let her know I received her announcement), but minimize it while deciding to visit her site and scope it out. It’s very thorough, has loads of information, and is flashy too! Cool. I go back to my reply and complete it.
Ah, another complete e-mail cycle. Better yet; a complete communication. At the very least, her important message reached one of her recipients, and that person (me) acknowledged it.
This whole process, as we all know, repeats itself endlessly. It's hard to be discerning when we're bombarded every day with tons of messages. As time goes on, I hope that people become more judicious when including or sending to us, so our job of reading their e-mail is made easier, enjoyable and informative.
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